When you’re young, you feel the passion in real time , not after the fact. You can actually hear the universe speaking your name and the wind blowing is a stimulating coolant. When the driver opened the door in his three piece tuxedo , I felt like royalty, then immediately I thought to myself , should not I have this same vibe in my mind when my boyfriend opens the car door for me when we go out on the town?
All alone I sat , surrounded by my thoughts and how my mind was slowly developing scenarios, scenes and orchestrations of new transportation without verbal abuse from a lover.
I wished and prayed and fought the growing reel to reel movie like pictures and thoughts in my head of absolute freedom and independence and my God ! The price I would need to pay to secure this feeling and never let it go, so that I can stop the pain , stop the suffering, stop the guilt and the ugly black mass that I could not touch and remove from my heart and soul.
My mind became an automatic engineered human factory of how I could please please keep this feeling of travel from destination
A my home, my sanctuary my safe place, and get to destination B . The monies I would need to come up with to have my very own personal chauffeur/ driver.
to be continued… A View from the Back seat